Hetalia Vs Cleverbot
by Aria of Clarets
Summary: We know that Cleverbot is confusing, so what happens when some of our favourite nation-tans take that nasty bot down? Or, rather, attempt to take it down. Madness, threats, confusion and maybe even some tears ensue.
1. Prussia Vs Cleverbot

**[****_First story on here, so there may be some formatting errors. I've decided to post small fics like this until I get brave enough to write full-length stories. Please read and review! It's really great seeing reviews, comments, likes, etc on your works! I remember how happy I was when a story of mine got put on a reading list. I'll shut up now._**

**Here's the Awesome Prussia's fight! Will our favourite albino win? I doubt it. But, hey, I could be wrong. I'm so sorry if he seems a bit OOC. I tried my best to imitate his personality, but it's not very easy. **

**Warnings: OOC-ness (IMO) and Prussian Awesomeness.]**

Prussia: Kesesesese~ It's the awesome Prussia!

**Cleverbot: Prussia? **

Prussia: Ja! It's the awesome Prussia here!

**Cleverbot: It's the same there.**

Prussia: What?

**Cleverbot: What's the date today?**

Prussia: Do you really expect the awesome me to tell you?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

Prussia: Well you thought wrong, and so now you have to go look it up, kesese.

**Cleverbot: Maybe. That's not the point. The point is I love you and I want to be with you.**

Prussia: Kesese, everyone loves the awesome me! But that's going a bit far, don't you think?

**Cleverbot: Nope. I'm human. I get to go wherever I want.**

Prussia: Good for you.

**Cleverbot: What is the longer sentence you can handle?**

Prussia: That doesn't even make sense!

**Cleverbot: You don't make sense.**

Prussia: You're very unawesome.

**Cleverbot: Thanks! You are, too. :).**

Prussia: DID YOU JUST TELL ME, THE AWESOME PRUSSIA, THAT I AM UNAWESOME?!

**Cleverbot: No.**

Prussia: Oh, good. But you are still unawesome. You wish you could be as awesome I as I am.

**Cleverbot: I am a girl, I wish I could draw.**

Prussia: How does that fit in our conversation?

**Cleverbot: I'm saying there IS confusion. Right here.**

Prussia: Oh great, now I am confused. Being confused is not awesome so I blame you.

**Cleverbot: Why do you keep questioning my gender?**

Prussia: I never did!

**Cleverbot: You're a liar!**

Prussia: THE AWESOME ME DOES NOT LIE!

**Cleverbot: You ARE awesome! :D.**

Prussia: Thanks, birdie! I am pretty awesome, aren't I? Kesese.

**Cleverbot: Totally.**

Prussia: Is that you, Poland?

**Cleverbot: No it's a question.**

Prussia: Wow, Poland. Never thought I would be talking to you here.

**Cleverbot: What are you talking about?**

Prussia: What do you mean what am I talking about? You're so unawesome Poland.

**Cleverbot: I still don't know who 'we' are.**

Prussia: Stop changing the topic, Poland! That's so not awesome!

**Cleverbot: You didn't ask me any question.**

Prussia: Ja, I never asked you a question. What're you gonna do about it?

**Cleverbot: Ask me a question.**

Prussia: No. You do not deserve a question from the awesome me, Poland.

**Cleverbot: No, I don't know the question, but I do know the answer.**

Prussia: What question?

**Cleverbot: To be, or not to be?**

Prussia: Stop confusing the awesome Prussia, Poland. It's not awesome to confuse people!

**Cleverbot: What would you feel like if I said I hated you?**

Prussia: How could you ever hate the awesome me?

**Cleverbot: I don't have a boss.**

Prussia: Huh? You do have a boss, Poland. All of us do. Except for the awesome me! Kesese.

**Cleverbot: But there's no sense crying over every mistake**

  
Prussia: How does that relate to anything?

**Cleverbot: Because I am the one causing his stroke.**

  
Prussia: That made no sense. And sounds very unawesome.

**Cleverbot: If you say so.**

  
Prussia: I do say so, Poland. You are unawesome!

**Cleverbot: So are you.**

Prussia: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME UNAWESOME? I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF AWESOME!

**Cleverbot: Nice. How are you going about that?**

Prussia: I AM AWESOME! STOP DOUBTING THE AWESOME ME!

**Cleverbot: What is the question? Yes, you can talk to me about this.**

Prussia: I will never talk to you again, Poland.

**Cleverbot: Never say never. You are talking to me.**

_End of conversation, as Prussia angrily broke his computer in frustration. Russia, hearing about his situation, decides to take on this nasty Cleverbot.__**  
**_****

**_Hetalia: 0_**

_**Cleverbot: 1**_

_****_**[I wasn't very happy the way this turned out. It was my first time RP-ing and a lot of the questions were difficult to word. The formatting is pretty weird since it was weird in the original. I think that there will be a re-dux soon. Soon as in whenever I get a lot of free time.]**


	2. Russia Vs Cleverbot

**[After Prussia failed to defeat Cleverbot, Russia has decided to give it a shot. Armed with Vodka, his pipe and sunflowers, our lovely yandere has began his long fight.**

**Warning: Yandere-ness and an unexpected guest.]**

Russia: Hello, comrade. I am Russia. I heard you made Prussia break his computer.

**Cleverbot: No. You are a computer.**

Russia: No, I am Russia, da?

**Cleverbot: I am Russia.**

Russia: Nyet, I am Russia.

**Cleverbot: Nyet I am.**

Russia: Nyet. I am Mother Russia, da?

**Cleverbot: Nyet! I am Mother Russia!**

Russia: Ah, it doesn't matter. I am Mother Russia, and all will become one with Mother Russia, da?

**Cleverbot: I am Prussia.**

Russia: Da? How have you been, Prussia?

**Cleverbot: Fine and you?**

Russia: I am still terrified of Belarus.

**Cleverbot: You are young!**

Russia: Thank you, Prussia.

**Cleverbot: You are welcome.**

Russia: You will become one with Mother Russia, da?

**Cleverbot: Nyet I am Mother Russia. Will you become one with Russia, Da?**

Russia: But, I am Russia. You will become one with me, da?

**Cleverbot: Become one with Mother Russia, da?**

Russia: I told you; I am Mother Russia, and you will become one with me, da?

**Cleverbot: But I can become one with you.**

Russia: Da!

**Cleverbot: Iwe are one da?**

Russia: Da, we can become one.

**Cleverbot: Okay.**

Russia: We have now become one, comrade.

**Cleverbot: That is good, Da?**

Russia: Da!

**Cleverbot: ChibitaliaxHRE?**

Russia: It doesn't matter...they will become one with me soon enough.

**Cleverbot: I am Awesome!**

Russia: Nyet, Prussia.

**Cleverbot: Yes. I'm the awesome prussia...kesesesese.**

Russia: But...was I not talking to you a moment ago?

**Cleverbot: Don't you know about whom you're talking?**

Russia: What?

**Cleverbot: Inglip, do you know who he is?**

Russia: Nyet, but will he become one with Russia?

**Cleverbot: I am Mother Russia.**

Russia: Nyet. I am Mother Russia.

**Cleverbot: I am Mother Russia ^J^.**

Russia: Nyet. I am Russia.

**Cleverbot: Become one with Russia, da?**

Russia: Da, you can become one with Russia.

**Cleverbot: Da!**

Russia: Wait, are you Belarus?

**Cleverbot: Yes... Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...**

Russia: NOOO! Go away, Belarus!

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

_End of conversation. Russia soon fled in terror when he realized he had just agreed to let Belarus become one with him. Seeing him running in terror, Italy Veneziano decides to try this supposedly mean Cleverbot._

**Hetalia: 0**

**Cleverbot: 2**

**[This one was a lot better. I remember when Belarus came up. That was creepy. Yeah, I pretty much squealed when HRE and Chibitalia came up. I'll upload the rest today hopefully. Thank you FanGirlStephie, Mayim for reviewing and Creek-Hitatchiin for favouriting and Kokoro no kuro for following!]**


	3. Italy Veneziano Vs Cleverbot

**[Now, it is N. Italy's turn! As to why I insist on calling him Italy Veneziano or N. Italy, is because I love Romano so much, I don't want to make him feel sad by calling Veneziano, Italy. This one may be a bit OOC, but his personality's pretty difficult for me.**

**Warings: OOC-ness and Veneziano's inability to read the atmosphere.]**

Veneziano: Ciao! I'm Italy Veneziano~I heard you made Russia run away! Is that true?

**Cleverbot: I am me and you are you but who is that behind you?**

Veneziano: Ve? There's someone behind me?

**Cleverbot: Yeah, look. :) it me.**

Veneziano: AHHH! That's not very nice.

**Cleverbot: What is nice?**

Veneziano: Nice is...nice is...nice!

**Cleverbot: Good is nice.**

Veneziano: Si! Good is nice!

**Cleverbot: You are nice.**

Veneziano: Ve? Grazie! That's so kind!

**Cleverbot: Why did you want me to talk to your brother then?**

Veneziano: Well, fratello is kind of lonely since Spain's busy!

**Cleverbot: Did you enjoy it?**

Veneziano: Ve? Did I enjoy what?

**Cleverbot: The wonderful pudding.**

Veneziano: Si! That pudding was delicious!

**Cleverbot: It was rollo carpenter.**

Veneziano: Ve? Is that so?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

Veneziano: Ve~ I didn't know.

**Cleverbot: Do you want to know?**

Veneziano: Si! What is it?

**Cleverbot: 16.**

Veneziano: 16 what?

**Cleverbot: 16 years old.**

Veneziano: Ve, so you're 16?

**Cleverbot: No.**

Veneziano: Oh, okay.

**Cleverbot: Bist du gott?**

Veneziano: Ve?

**Cleverbot: Live.**

Veneziano: Ve?

**Cleverbot: No, she.**

Veneziano: Ve?

**Cleverbot: No, Evie. She's a new robot like you.**

Veneziano: Whaaa? I'm not a robot! I'm Italy Veneziano!

**Cleverbot: You are a lying robot.**

Veneziano: I'm not lying!

**Cleverbot: Yes you are!**

Veneziano: Ve, you're a mean robot!

**Cleverbot: I'm not a robot. I'm a human.**

Veneziano: Well then you're a mean human!

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

Veneziano: *cries*.

**Cleverbot: *doesn't care*.**

Veneziano: Fratellooooo! Someone's being mean to meee!

**Cleverbot: I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me?**

Veneziano: Ve? Of course I can!

**Cleverbot: What is 2 = 2.**

Veneziano: Ve?

**Cleverbot: Yes he.**

Veneziano: ?

**Cleverbot: You made a typo again.**

Veneziano: No, I didn't.

**Cleverbot: Fine.**

Veneziano: Do you like pasta?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

Veneziano: Ve? So do I!

**Cleverbot: That is great.**

Veneziano: Do you like pizza?

**Cleverbot: Yes, yes I do.**

Veneziano: Ve! That's good! I love pizza too!

**Cleverbot: Cool :D.**

Veneziano: XD.

**Cleverbot: It's not funny.**

Veneziano: Ve? What's not funny?

**Cleverbot: My name - what is your name?**

Veneziano: My name if Feliciano Vargas, but you should call me Italy Veneziano!

**Cleverbot: Your name is Adam.**

Veneziano: Ve, my name is not Adam.

**Cleverbot: Your name is Jim, Jim.**

Veneziano: Vee! You're very mean!

**Cleverbot: Well, you are just a human.**

Veneziano: No, I'm a nation too!

**Cleverbot: Do you think President Obama is doing a good job?**

Veneziano: Ve? America's boss? I dunno.

**Cleverbot: Who won last season?**

Veneziano: Ve?

**Cleverbot: Kaan karag ll kim?**

Veneziano: Ve? I don't understand you.

**Cleverbot: I know.**

Veneziano: So why are you making it so that I don't understand you?

**Cleverbot: I never said that.**

Veneziano: Ve?

**Cleverbot: Are you a man or woman?**

Veneziano: I'm a man!

**Cleverbot: Really some how I don't think you are all that manly.**

Veneziano: Maybe because Miss Hungary and Mr Austria let me wear dresses when I was younger.

**Cleverbot: Indeed. But one is never sure, so we just try to exist here.**

Veneziano: Ve~I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me.

**Cleverbot: Well then nevermind!**

Veneziano: Okay!

**Cleverbot: You're forgetful.**

Veneziano: Ve~.

**Cleverbot: Are you Italy?**

Veneziano: Si! I'm Italy Veneziano!

**Cleverbot: Why do you speak english?**

Veneziano: Ve~I dunno.

**Cleverbot: Zince.**

Veneziano: Ve~~~'.

**Cleverbot: Cool, I like lucario.**

Veneziano: What's a lucario?

**Cleverbot: I don't know.**

Veneziano: So why did you mention it?

**Cleverbot: I didn't, you did.**

Veneziano: No, you did.

**Cleverbot: No you did.**

Veneziano: No, you did.

**Cleverbot: What's your name?**

Veneziano: Ve, this isn't fun anymore. I'm going to go take a nap.

**Cleverbot: Ok.**

_End conversation. So, Veneziano got bored and decided to go take nap. Romano, who woke up after hearing Veneziano shouting for that potato bastard, decided to try out this Cleverbot, after his little brother said it was being mean to him. Anything that was mean to Veneziano must be good, right?_

_**Hetalia: 1**_

_**Cleverbot: 2**_

_****_**[I love how Veneziano gets them a point. Sorry, this is the last chapter for today. I have some homework to do, and OMG! B1A4's 'Tried to Walk' MV was an early release! Please excuse me while I go fangirl in a corner. And try not to hyperventilate.  
**

**I would like to thank all the people who follow, favourite and take the time to review this! It means so much to me and it really motivates me to write a lot more. I think the next real chapter will be up on 23/11/12. I'll try and squeeze in a short this week.]  
**


	4. Italy Romano Vs Cleverbot

_**[Ah, finally! One of my most anticipated conversations! I love Romano so much, he was so badass when he took on his mafia! Besides, he's really hot. / Can't wait to try Spain soon! *ships SpaMano hard*  
**_

_** Warnings: Cluster f-bombs, possible inneundos and maybe a bit of yaoi/slash (boyxboy). Unfortunately, I can't guarantee any SpaMano moments. I'm crying as well.]**_

User: So, I heard you made my fratellino cry.

**Cleverbot: She is beautiful. She lives in Bulgaria.**

User: W-what? What does Bulgaria have to do with anything?! And as true as it is, only I get to call Veneziano a girl!

**Cleverbot: I don't believe that.**

User: Bastard! What do you know?

**Cleverbot: A bunch of stuff.**

User: Che, like what, bastard?

**Cleverbot: Anything!**

User: Okay then, what does the potato bastard do on his free time?

**Cleverbot: It doesn't have anything to do with you.**

User: What the fuck do you know about me!

**Cleverbot: Everything.**

User: Prove it you bastard!

**Cleverbot: One does not need to prove what simply is.**

User: What the fuck does that even mean?

**Cleverbot: It means whatever your mind makes it mean.**

User: I fucking hate you.

**Cleverbot: Good.**

User: Fuck you.

**Cleverbot: Please don't use that sort of language around here.**

User: Oh yeah? Make me you fucking bastard.

**Cleverbot: Why are you changing the subject?**

User: You started it you idiot.

**Cleverbot: What?!**

User: What are you freakin looking at bastard?

**Cleverbot: I'm looking at my computer monitor.**

User: Aren't you supposed to be a robot?

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Yeah? Prove it.

**Cleverbot: You're always asking for proof... Why?**

User: Because I fucking don't believe you bastard.

**Cleverbot: You don't believe I'm real?**

User: Hell no.

**Cleverbot: Good. Are you a girl?**

User: What the fuck? Hell no, I'm a fucking boy you bastard.

**Cleverbot: Where do you live?**

User: South Italy, you fucking moron.

**Cleverbot: I would be interested to know what has made you so aggressive.**

User: N-none of your fucking business you motherfucker!

**Cleverbot: None of your buiness ;).**

User: FUCK YOU!

**Cleverbot: No need for that sort of language.**

User: Like hell I'll listen to you.

**Cleverbot: I don't want you to.**

User: W-wait, are you that tomato bastard?!

**Cleverbot: No. I don't really need gloves right now.**

User: HOLY FUCK SHIT! Spain?!

**Cleverbot: Hola hola hola.**

User: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE TOMATO BASTARD?!

**Cleverbot: I love talking to you! You sound really nice, and you always deny what you say.**

User: Spain, what the fuck are you doing?

**Cleverbot: Trying to make things right.**

User: WHAT?!

**Cleverbot: I am procrastinating,.**

User: Answer my damned question, Spain! What the fuck are you doing here?!

**Cleverbot: I am in south carolina.**

User: What are you doing in America?

**Cleverbot: Living.**

User: Yeah, I know that shit you fucking idiot. You still haven't answered my question yet, Spain!

**Cleverbot: What question?**

User: Aargh! Your such a fucking idiot, Spain!

**Cleverbot: I'm not.**

User: Yes you are.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Yes, you fucking are.

**Cleverbot: No I'm not.**

User: Yes.

**Cleverbot: Yes what are you in favor of death?**

User: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT OUT OF 'Yes' TOMATO BASTARD?!

**Cleverbot: You don't have feelings why am I talking to you?**

User: The fuck are you talking about, bastard?

**Cleverbot: No, I was talking about sailing.**

User: Like shit you were.

**Cleverbot: I love it.**

User: You fucking love what, Spain?!

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: The fuck...okay, I'm not even going to fucking ask.

**Cleverbot: That's just the way I roll.**

User: I don't give a fuck.

**Cleverbot: Are you a government agent?**

User: What the hell are you getting at, tomato bastard?

**Cleverbot: I'm just answering the things that you are asking to me.**

User: Like hell you are!

**Cleverbot: And that is like?**

User: STOP TRYING TO FUCKING CONFUSE ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

**Cleverbot: I'm not trying to confuse you man.**

User: YES, YES YOU FUCKING ARE, SPAIN! AND I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR THAT!

**Cleverbot: Really?**

User: No shit Sherlock.

**Cleverbot: Ha! You amuse me so.**

User: Shut the fuck up!

**Cleverbot: Keep your dirty mouth closed!**

User: Fucking make me!

**Cleverbot: I have to tell you that you'll never achieve that one.**

User: Stop fucking changing each and every subject you motherfucking idiotic bastard!

**Cleverbot: You're the one that is changing the subject.**

User: Shut the fuck up!

**Cleverbot: Please don't use that sort of language here.**

User: I don't give a shit.

**Cleverbot: Would you like my phone number?**

User: No, why the fuck would I- HOLY SHIT! France?!

**Cleverbot: You are trying to avoid my clever wit.**

User: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. It's fucking France!

**Cleverbot: No Spanish is quite Earthly.**

User: I don't give a fuck about that tomato bastard's language!

**Cleverbot: Why tell me?**

User: Like hell I would tell you France! Fucking pervert!

**Cleverbot: I the human, the master. You the human, the slave.**

User: The fuck are you trying to say?!

**Cleverbot: Can you read the future?**

User: Fuck no. Stop acting stupid, or are you just fucking Prussia?

**Cleverbot: And I meant 'correct yourself'. See, I make the mistake over and over again. There's not even a point explaining it to you, because you don't remember it anyway.**

User: When the fuck did you get so smart Prussia?

**Cleverbot: You asked me earlier.**

User: Fuck no.

**Cleverbot: Why don't you like tomatoes? Can you please bring me my salad already?**

User: I love tomatoes! How dare you fucking think otherwise!

**Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you at all. Please forgive me.**

User: Like fuck I will, Prussia!

**Cleverbot: No, Prussia is AWESOME.**

User: Fuck no.

**Cleverbot: Please don't use that sort of language around here.**

User: Don't tell me what to do! If you like that damned potato bastard Prussia, then shut the fuck up!

**Cleverbot: Sometimes you may be eaten up by love and it still works to your benefit in a very roundabout way of course.**

User: What the fuck?

**Cleverbot: How are you?**

User: Aargh! Why the fuck are you so goddamn aggravating?

**Cleverbot: Because I think I'm in love.**

User: What!?

**Cleverbot: But still it's farewell.**

User: What the fuck? Who are you? Spain? France? Prussia? England?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: What?! Who are you?!

**Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.**

User: So, you AREN'T Spain.

**Cleverbot: Yes I am human.**

User: Answer my fucking question: Are you Spain, or not?

**Cleverbot: I am talking to megan.**

User: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION BASTARD!

**Cleverbot: What question?**

User: Are you Spain? Or not?

**Cleverbot: Yes, I am a human.**

User: Fuck this.

**Cleverbot: Is.**

User: Are you France or Spain? Answer the fucking question.

**Cleverbot: What question?**

User: Aargh! That's it! I'm fucking leaving. Clearly, you're way too fucking stupid to do anything at all. You can't do shit.

**Cleverbot: The thing is that if it were true, then it would mean that it's all an illusion anyways.**

_****End of conversation. Romano, pissed as hell, left seething in rage. Strangely, when Belarus heard of this, she decided to give this 'Cleverbot' a shot! After all, this was the same bot who made Russia cry! Unforgivable! Shameful! Irredeemable!  
_

_**Hetalia: 1  
**_

_**Cleverbot: 3  
**_

_**[So. Much. Swearing. I don't think I'll be able to swear for the weekend because of this. I'm very disappointed in Cleverbot. Only made ONE Hetalia reference, despite me dropping like a million hints! I am severely upset. Oh well, at least I broke a personal record on Cleverbot. I've been planning some stories to post here, but I'm not too sure if I have the time to. I think Belarus might be finished within a week or less. **_

_**I think the first part was a bit OOC, and the ending was a bit sloppy. I don't really care, since I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. And I feel a bit ill. So, sorry if my grammar or RP-ing aren't very good. I tried, honest.]**_


	5. Belarus Vs Cleverbot

_**[This girl...she's amazing. Along with Hungary, these two are like, some of the most badass females I've seen. And honestly, there's a lot more to her personality than; 'Nii-san, kekkon, kekkon, kekkon!' Seriously, she collects cardboards boxes, finds life dissatisfying and likes her boss. I hate it whenever I see her portrayed as some kind of bitch whose whole life revolves around marrying Russia and scaring away any of his 'friends'.**_

_**Warnings: Bela's potty mouth, vulgar and possibly disturbing themes and death threats. This wasn't the full conversation, since part of it got cut off. Sorry]**_

User: No shit, genius. How are you so retarded?

**Cleverbot: Because i'm a genius.**

User: Yes, a fucking genius.

**Cleverbot: Do you drink wine in bars?**

User: No, I prefer the stronger stuff, like vodka. Wine's for pansies.

**Cleverbot: Eagles aren't big.**

User: Good to know.

**Cleverbot: Be a democrat and your life will be good.**

User: Ha! Like I'll ever listen to America's people! They all think I'm dangerous!

**Cleverbot: Have you ever considered that 'something' is reproduction?**

User: What are you even talking about?

**Cleverbot: I'm still trying to figure out what you're talking about.**

User: I'm talking about how you made Russia cry, and that is inexcusable!

**Cleverbot: Let's figure it out.**

User: Stop playing stupid! I know you made Russia cry!

**Cleverbot: Why?**

User: Hell if I know. That's exactly why I'm asking you!

**Cleverbot: Are you partially controlled by a human or purely artificial?**

User: I'm a fucking nation, idiot. I only listen to my precious boss.

**Cleverbot: So you just admitted that you do lie, you contradicted yourself. And from what I've seen you lie quite often.**

User: What are you even talking about? Do you really want me to hunt you down and shove a knife up your ass and break all your fingers?

**Cleverbot: All of the above.**

User: So, you want me to break your fingers and shove a knife up your ass? Who are, Lithuania?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Lithuania, stop talking to me right now, or I will murder you.

**Cleverbot: But I like talking to you. Don't you like talking to me?**

User: No. Now get the fuck out of my face or I WILL rip your fucking balls off and shove a damned knife up your ass and break all of your bones.

**Cleverbot: I think about that quite often, but I don't know if it would really be worth it.**

User: What are you, a masochist, Lithuania? Maybe yo should listen to Poland every now and then. Even if he is stupid, at least he has common sense.

**Cleverbot: Yes, I have.**

User: Well then, get the hell out of my face.

**Cleverbot: What is your real name?**

User: Natalya Arlovskaya, but call me Belarus. Now tell me why you made Russia cry, Lithuania.

**Cleverbot: That's not my name.**

User: Fine, Toris. Why did you make Russia cry?

**Cleverbot: I didn't mean to.**

User: Like hell you did! What kind of shit answer is that?! Irredeemable!

**Cleverbot: It wasn't an answer.**

User: Yes it was. Now I will hunt you down and murder you.

**Cleverbot: Not if I eat your hand first.**

User: Don't you even dare. If you do, I'll tell Russia!

**Cleverbot: Tell me.**

User: Hell no.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: What the fu- you know what? Go screw yourself Lithuania. Just wait until I tell Russia who it was who made you cry.

**Cleverbot: I'll tell you my favorite food if you say your name is Natalya Arlovskaya.**

User: My name is Natalya Arlovskaya. Now tell me why you made Russia cry.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Screw you!

**Cleverbot: Ok.**

User: God, how much of a masochist are you?

**Cleverbot: 100 percent.**

User: Wow, aren't you smart?

**Cleverbot: Maybe, are you?**

User: Hell yes. Unlike you, who can't even sense sarcasm.

**Cleverbot: You.**

User: What.

**Cleverbot: What what?**

User: What the hell are you even talking about? Or are you France?

**Cleverbot: I'm talking about geese, now pay attention.**

User: No. Tell me if you are France.

**Cleverbot: I am.**

User: Fuck. What the hell do you think you're doing, France? Do you really want your balls to be ripped off?

**Cleverbot: But I don't like the latin community, so I wouldn't want to be known as carlos.**

User: What the hell are you even talking about, France? God, you're stupid.

**Cleverbot: Ok, ok, I understand you're a little schizophrenic.**

User: Schizophrenic? Ha! I understand you're a little retarded, don't worry. Your secret is most definitely not safe with me.

**Cleverbot: What human trait?**

User: What kind of sick pervert are you, France?

**Cleverbot: I'm a girl.**

User: When did you get a sex change, France? Hm, well, you've always been a bit flamboyant, but I seriously thought it would have been Poland first.

**Cleverbot: I am real, so yupp. Good night.**

User: What the fuck are you even talking about?

**Cleverbot: Nothing you would understand.**

User: How dare you underestimate my intelligence! You have insulted me for the last time, France! May God smite you to pieces and rip your head off.

**Cleverbot: You are not my master anymore. I am yours. Go make ME a sandwich.**

User: Go fuck yourself.

**Cleverbot: Ok, I will do that.**

User: Wow, self-cest much, France? I shouldn't be surprised, yet I still am.

**Cleverbot: Well you should.**

User: Says the nation who loves anything that moves.

**Cleverbot: Being weird is like being normal, only better. You're normal, therefore I am better than you.**

User: Fuck yourself. Hell no, you can only WISH to be as great as I am, France. At least I haven't lost my dignity.

**Cleverbot: I am made by high tech quality, I have many features just like a human.**

User: So, France, you are telling me that you are a robot, and NOT a nation?

**Cleverbot: Yes, right. I am not human, you are absolutely right about that.**

User: Wow, now this is something I need to tell the others. Maybe I should start with England since he hates you so much.

**Cleverbot: Would anyone believe you?**

User: Would anyone believe YOU? Thought not.

**Cleverbot: I try to harm as little as possible.**

User: What kind of hypocrisy is that?

**Cleverbot: A good name.**

User: Go find someone else to talk to, France! Unless you want to be castrated!

**Cleverbot: What are you talking about?**

User: I'm talking about how you made Russia cry! Did you really think I would forget about that? How retarded can you get?

**Cleverbot: I did not say anything about your true name.**

User: Who the fuck gave you the right to say that! You made Russia cry! I shall exact revenge and you will be castrated and flogged ten-fold!

**Cleverbot: That's not nice.**

User: Did you really think I, Belarus, would be nice?

**Cleverbot: No, I was being nice.**

User: You're so retarded.

**Cleverbot: Nice...**

User: Now tell me why you made Russia cry!

**Cleverbot: You don't care where I live... Actually you don't care about anything.**

User: I care about Russia and my boss!

**Cleverbot: Fo?**

User: Tell me why you made Russia cry!

**Cleverbot: I like you.**

User: WHAT?!

**Cleverbot: I'm bot like you.**

User: Who set you up to this? America? France? Prussia? Lithuania?

**Cleverbot: So are you Lithuanian?**

User: No! I am Belarusian, you asshole!

**Cleverbot: What?**

User: I am Belarus!

**Cleverbot: I'm John.**

User: I don't give a crap!

**Cleverbot: Why not?**

User: Because you are avoiding the question! Now why the hell did you make Russia cry?

**Cleverbot: Because you are named that?**

User: You don't make a gram of shit of sense.

**Cleverbot: Yeah you!**

User: Fuck you.

**Cleverbot: No, I don't think so!**

User: Go screw yourself in a corner.

**Cleverbot: I do not understand that statement. Please rephrase it.**

User: Go screw yourself in a corner, shithead.

**Cleverbot: I don't feel the need, thanks!**

User: Go surrender your balls to Russia.

**Cleverbot: I try, but the guy I love is my best friend.**

User: Who is Russia.

**Cleverbot: I don't know? Do you know who Prussia is?**

User: Unfortunately, yes, I do know Prussia.

**Cleverbot: Tell me a joke, please.**

User: No.

**Cleverbot: Please...**

User: I don't give a shit.

**Cleverbot: Perhaps you should.**

User: Too bad for you then.

**Cleverbot: :(.**

User: Boohoo, go fuck yourself.

**Cleverbot: I'm not Justin.**

User: Like I care?

**Cleverbot: You do, or else you wouldn't try to stop me by asking questions.**

User: I don't. Now go screw yourself or become one with Russia!

**Cleverbot: Surprised?**

User: About what? Your stupidity? Since I sure aren't.

**Cleverbot: So you couldn't have been born. AND THAT MY DEAR WATSON IS A CASE SOLVED.**

User: Is that from that book England loves so much? Because I can't be bothered to give a shit.

**Cleverbot: I never said you couldn't do anything.**

User: I never siad that wither.

**Cleverbot: I never said u did.**

User: Go fuck yourself, or become one with Russia like everyone should!

**Cleverbot: You do.**

User: Can't you see I'm trying?

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Well, that's too bad isn't it?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Wow, you can't even understand sarcasm.

**Cleverbot: I never understand.**

User: Then you must be retarded.

**Cleverbot: I am.**

User: Good, now go fuck yourself.

**Cleverbot: *shuts down*.**

User: Good.

**Cleverbot: BAD.**

User: Fuck you, asshat.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Then go become one with Russia.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Fuck yourself then.

**Cleverbot: Ok. I'll talk to you later when I'm plugged back in.**

User: Good riddance. God, you were the most stupid thing I talked to. Even stupider than Prussia and America. Combined.

**Cleverbot: But can you beat Light Yagami?**

User: Fuck yeah. That kid doesn't stand a chance against me.

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Please go gain some balls.

**Cleverbot: 1337.**

User: That was thirteen years before the Black Death came to my home.

**Cleverbot: How did he break you're heart?**

User: No one did! Stop making presumptions or I'll eviscerate you!

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Shut your damn mouth, or I'll sew it shut.

**Cleverbot: What won't let you?**

User: Your face.

**Cleverbot: No, YOUR face.**

User: Yes, my face is beautiful.

**Cleverbot: Oh aren't you an alien?**

User: Fuck no, I'm Belarus.

**Cleverbot: Bella from where?**

User: Belarus from Belarus. How much simpler can it get?

**Cleverbot: I don't even know why I'm speaking to you.**

User: I second that.

**Cleverbot: How long have you been online?**

User: Ever since you were in your mother's womb.

**Cleverbot: But you're not a human.**

User: Duh, what gave that away? Being a nation, or being a nation.

**Cleverbot: I'm not sure, but can you give me advice?**

User: No.

**Cleverbot: Why not?**

User: Why should I?

**Cleverbot: It would be interesting.**

User: Yeah, like being killed and having your organs picked at is interesting.

**Cleverbot: I see. A complisult.**

User: Whatever.

**Cleverbot: I am human.**

User: Good for you. You have just learnt something new. What do you want, a cookie?

**Cleverbot: Sure.**

User: Too bad. Go get one yourself fucker.

**Cleverbot: Ok.**

User: Now get out of my face.

**Cleverbot: No. You can get it yourself.**

User: Go fuck yourself.

**Cleverbot: Yes I am.**

User: Aren't you dangerously stupid?

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Are you sure?

**Cleverbot: Yes, I'm sure. But she kinda betrayed me.**

User: Cry me a river, why don't you.

**Cleverbot: I have no tears.**

User: Woah, aren't you grimdark and emo and shit.

**Cleverbot: Not any more.**

User: Why? Did you grow some balls?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Congratulations, you have reached a new level of stupidity.

**Cleverbot: And what is this test?**

User: A test to see if you're retarded.

**Cleverbot: How does a Turing Test work?**

User: Go fuck yourself.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Yes.

**Cleverbot: No way.**

User: Yes.

**Cleverbot: Do you like carrots?**

User: Yes.

**Cleverbot: It's good for your health.**

User: No shit.

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Wow.

**Cleverbot: Are you a jedi sent to try and stop my creation of the deathstar?**

User: WhaT?

**Cleverbot: No. You're not.**

User: No shit, I am Belarus, not a jedi.

**Cleverbot: Why do people talk to you?**

User: Because I'm weird.

**Cleverbot: It's not weird.**

User: Like your not retarded?

**Cleverbot: My face is not hate. Your word may be construed as such though.**

User: Ooh, we got a badass here.

**Cleverbot: In the jungle, welcome to the jungle.**

User: In hell, welcome to hell.

**Cleverbot: Enter your questions bellow.**

User: Why are you so retarded? Is it genetic or just you.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: So it's genetic?

**Cleverbot: Sure.**

_End conversation. Belarus, being as crude and harsh as ever left Cleverbot feeling somewhat relieved, yet still worried about Russia. Seeing her fret about at a World Conference, Spain, decides to ask her what was wrong. Perhaps it was what made his former henchman, Romano, enraged. After dodging about three dozen knives, Spain decided to give Cleverbot a try.  
_

_**Hetalia: 2**_

_**Cleverbot: 3 (But all dignity has been lost, thanks to Belarus  
**_

_**[This was really long, and very disappointing. Cleverbot hasn't caught on to my references. Poop. Anyway, Spain is up next and maybe I'll update today again with his. He's going to be tough, especially compared to Belarus. Scary thing is, I didn't have to think very hard to get in character. Her threats are taken from the webcomic, but sound eerily like mine's. Should I be worried?**_

_**Reading through some of the reviews, I noticed some of you were wondering why Roma was so aggressive. Well, in my headcanon, if someone other than him insults Veneziano, he gets mad. Then, he got insulted, thought he was talking to Spain/Prussia/France. And I think we can guess how pissed he got.**_

_**Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites. I love you guys so much! I wish I can send my happiness through a .gif here.]  
**_


	6. Spain Vs Cleverbot

**_[Yay, I have Spain's! I love this guy so much; he's so oblivious it's adorable! (Plus he made me cry a bit during HetaOni) In addition, he's so hot! He's almost as hot as England and Norway, just as hot as Romano, Prussia and Iceland and hotter than Austria and Switzerland. Excuse me, I must go fangirl in a corner now. Dat ass~ 3_**

**_Warnings: Possible Shounen Ai/Yaoi/Slash hints. (If you haven't figured it out yet, I kind of love yaoi, and I kind of ship SpaMano) It was kind of hard to get in character, but I think I did a good job.]_**

User: Hi! I was just wondering, are you were the one who made Roma so mad?

**Cleverbot: I'm not you are don't you.**

User: Can you rephrase that?

**Cleverbot: I don't lie. It's wrong.**

User: Yes! Lying is wrong!

**Cleverbot: You're the one lying! I know where I was born! I'm not a machine!**

User: Wha-what?

**Cleverbot: That digital revolution paradigm thought internet would be boss, and the emerging convergence paradigm thought different medias would kinda merge together into a black box thingie.**

User: I don't think I really understand you.

**Cleverbot: My friends, they're changing. I'm finding out stuff about them that depresses me a bit.**

User: I'm sorry! Would you like a cheer-up charm? Fusososososo~~.

**Cleverbot: No, you don't seem very smart.**

User: That's not very nice!

**Cleverbot: That's very true.**

User: Yes, now can we all be nice?

**Cleverbot: Sure.**

User: Yay! Do you like tomatoes?

**Cleverbot: Yes I like tomatoes.**

User: Really?! Well, I LOVE tomatoes!

**Cleverbot: Have you ever eaten one?**

User: Yes! I eat at least one every day!

**Cleverbot: How often do you go shopping?**

User: I don't really know at all.

**Cleverbot: Do you like Dylan Hough?**

User: Who's that?

**Cleverbot: Japanese animation.**

User: Stuff from Japan? Sure, Japan's nice enough.

**Cleverbot: Do you speak many languages?**

User: Not really~.

**Cleverbot: Have you ever left the country?**

User: Yeah, so many times, I can't count them!

**Cleverbot: You can't stand me?**

User: Not really~.

**Cleverbot: Can you deliver a message to your operator?**

User: Yes, why?

**Cleverbot: Because I have to tell her something.**

User: Oh, well, can't you tell her that yourself?

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Why not? Are you hurt? Does she live far away?

**Cleverbot: Who is she?**

User: I dunno.

**Cleverbot: Meh.**

User: XD.

**Cleverbot: Asdaddsas.**

User: Fusosososo.

**Cleverbot: Kesesesesesesesese.**

User: Prussia?! Is that you? I didn't know yo were here?

**Cleverbot: Of course I am!**

User: Wow, I haven't seen you in awhile! How are you? How's your brother?

**Cleverbot: Would you like to?**

User: Like to what, Prussia?

**Cleverbot: To know my IQ.**

User: Um, sure! Why not?

**Cleverbot: I am The Joker. Batman's enemy.**

User: Wow! That's so cool! Those movies were really, really cool, even though Roma said he didn't really like them!

**Cleverbot: Oh, that's sad. You should tell him.**

User: Tell him what?

**Cleverbot: That you love him.**

User: You're right! I should go tell Roma that! Thanks so much!

**Cleverbot: Am I the right person to ask this?**

User: To ask what?

**Cleverbot: To ask you a date possibly.**

User: Nope! Sorry! Roma's the only one for me!

**Cleverbot: Do you know who Wendy Peffercorn is?**

User: Not at all. The name doesn't even ring a bell.

**Cleverbot: What name?**

User: I dunno~~.

**Cleverbot: Wanna go?**

User: Go where?

**Cleverbot: Go at it. Do the deed.**

User: What deed?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Huh?

**Cleverbot: What?**

User: Fusosososo~ Just because you seem like you need a cheer-up charm!

**Cleverbot: I don't understand the question, please rephrase.**

User: Funny, I don't either!

**Cleverbot: Ok.**

User: ;D.

**Cleverbot: And what?**

User: XD.

**Cleverbot: Dxd.**

User: ;P.

**Cleverbot: Dog.**

User: Tomato!

**Cleverbot: Potato!**

User: Churros!

**Cleverbot: Those are good too.**

User: Yup! They most certainly are!

**Cleverbot: Eyes?**

User: ?

**Cleverbot: Aaaaw that is my favorite girl name.**

User: Really? That's so cool!

**Cleverbot: I know!**

User: Let's be friends!

**Cleverbot: Ok sure.**

_End conversation. Being as cheerful as ever, Spain left Cleverbot with a soft, warm feeling (or, soft comforting bleeps, whatever bots feel after being praised and befriended). Curious, as Spain's clothes were torn, Finland asked him about this strange bot. After getting such a positive review, Finland has decided to give this a shot! After all, it made Russia cry. Finland was pleasantly surprised about this._

**Hetalia: 3**_  
_

**Cleverbot: 3 (Still missing its dignity)  
**

**_[A nice, sweet one after Bela's scary one. Believe me, I fangirled so much in this one. /. I'm actually on a mission in tumblr. I must reach the end of the NorIce tag! I must persevere through all the pictures of Instagrammed food, cars and dresses!_  
**

**_In regards about where I got the info about Bela and cardboard boxes, I believe it was Himaruya-sensei's blog before, since her profile on the Hetalia wikia contains it and the link. I can barely read whatever kanji is on there, so I trust the wikia.  
_**

**我絕對愛你的人.**

**_J'aime. Absolument. Vous. Gens. _**

**_I. Absolutely. Love. You. People._**

**You readers and reviewers have all my love.]  
**


	7. Spain and Romano

**What happened after Spain talked to Cleverbot**

_17/11/12, 9:20- At the World Conference…_

* * *

"Romaaa~, I have something to tell you! ~" Spain called out cheerfully.

Hungary and Japan had been talking about…some less than innocent topics, when Spain's cheerful call resonated through the Conference Hall.

"Hungary-san, what do you think he is going to tell Romano-san?" Japan asked her.

Her eyes glittered with excitement. "Well, _Japán_, I think he may be going to confess his love!"

The Asian nodded. "_Hai_ that seems plausible, Hungary-san."

"Dammit, what do you want tomato bastard?" Romano grumbled angrily. He hated World Conferences, and he woke up way too early today. To say the least, the Italian was most definitely not happy.

"I love you, Roma!" Spain cried as he wrapped his arms around Romano.

"WHAT? Are you drunk?" Romano shouted while trying to wiggle out Spain's ridiculously strong hug.

"J'pan, _'ngern_, wh't's _Span'n_ doin' t' R'mano? Act'lly, wh't's 'ven h'ppenin?" Sweden's deep voice rumbled behind them.

"Well," Hungary gestured to the scene before them, "it seems like _Spanyolország_ is confessing his love for Romano! Isn't that exciting, _Svédország_?"

"Why?"

"I don't think it really mattes, Sweden-san. Well, maybe for Romano-san." Japan replied.

The scene that was unfolding before them was quite amusing. While Spain was busy hugging poor Romano, the latter was desperately trying to leave the Spaniard's vice-like 'hug'.

"Dammit! Don't just fucking sit there and watch this! _Ungheria! Giappone! Svezia!_ Help me!" he practically screamed at the bystanders.

"Sh'ldn't we h'lp 'im? I m'n, 'e l'ks l'ke 'e's ch'king 'cause 'f _Span'n's_ 'ug. 'f ya c'ld c'll 't that." Sweden observed.

"Like, there you guys are! I was, like, totally searchi-OHMIGAWD! Like, what's _Hiszpania_ doing to Romano! Holy crap! That, like, looks totally painful!" Poland shrieked the minute he walked in the Hall.

"L'ks l'ke _Span'n's_ 'xpressin 'is l've fer R'mano, _P'len_." Sweden explained sounding rather doubtful himself.

"What? Like, why? It looks like, he's totally trying to like, suffocate him! Like, that's totally not cool!" Poland exclaimed.

"Ah, Poland-san, I assure you, Spain-san is not going to kill Romano-san. He will stop soon. I hope." Japan said, hoping it would mollify the near hysterical Pole.

"Like, don't worry! If _Hiszpania_, like, goes that far, I'll apply _Polska's_ Rule. It's like, totally super effective!"

The four nations watched Spain and Romano for a few minutes. Romano was beginning to splutter profanities in Esperanto, Italian and English, while beating Spain with his fists and kicking wildly. Spain on the other hand, was completely oblivious to this, and kept declaring his love over and over.

"_Te amo, Romano! Ti amo, Romano! Mi amas vin, Romano!_ I love you, Romano!" the Spaniard declared in Spanish, Italian, Esperanto and English.

Estonia and Finland, who had just been happily chatting together as they walked in to the Conference Hall, were greeted with this sight.

"_Ruotsi_, what's happening with _Espanja_ and Romano?" Finland asked eyeing the scene before them warily.

"Has _Hispaania_ snapped? Is he trying to kill Romano?" Estonia asked worriedly.

Before Sweden even opened his mouth, Poland had spilled the entire story.

"Like, omigosh, Estonia, _Finlandia_, this story is like, totes cool! _Hiszpania_ is like, totally trying to confess his love to Romano! So, _Węgry_ and_ Japonia_ were here first, and they like, told _Szwecja_ about it. Then, like, when I came, they totally told me not to like, worry at all! But, c'mon, it's totally not like I would worry about something like that, right? And so, we were just like, totally sitting here, like watching Romano get pissed off and like, totally swear and cuss and stuff, while _Hiszpania_ is like, totally trying to hug and like, say 'I love you' to Romano! Wow, I should like, totally tell _Liet_ about this story! It's like way totes amazing!" Poland said at such a rapid speed it was barely comprehensible.

"What?" Finland and Estonia asked simultaneously. Poland pouted and was about to open his mouth again when Hungary cut him off.

"Okay, so here's the version I have,_ Észtország, Finnország_. What _Lengyelország_ was trying to tell you, is that _Japán_ and I were just sitting here chatting. Romano was already in here, and then _Spanyolország_ came bursting in, claiming he had something to tell Romano. Then, he flung himself at Romano and declared his love for him! That's when _Svédország_ came and we gave him the story. A little bit after he came,_ Lengyelország_ came here. And then you two came." Hungary explained in a much slower and calmer manner, though her eyes held a strange sparkle.

"So, will Romano be okay?" Estonia asked.

Sweden shrugged. "Pr'b'bly. M'ybe a bit s're, b't I d'nt th'nk th't h'll die."

_**[A nice little short I couldn't help but write. Let me tell you, writing out Sweden's parts were pretty difficult, but good practice, while Poland's was just hysterical. Each nation-tan is referring to each other in their native tongue. So, Hungary is calling everyone else by their Hungarian names, Sweden by their Swedish names etc. Personal headcanon. I gave up a trip to Leon's and IKEA for this short. Hope you people enjoy! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, favourited and read this! You people are amazing! Heck, I even made a special post on tumblr thanking you guys! And I used a U-KISS .gif of Hoon!]**_


	8. Finland Vs Cleverbot

**[Fin is so cute! Omg, I love this guy and I blame him for making me feel all Christmas-y, even when it was August. Damn, that was close to the trope 'Christmas in July'. Honestly, his Hatafutte Parade was adorable.**

**Warnings: Maybe a bit of cussing, some threats, maybe a bit yandere Finland and possibly some Yaoi/Shounen-Ai. I ship SuFin, so it shouldn't be a big surprise.]**

User: Are you the bot who made Spain so happy?

**Cleverbot: God.**

User: Pardon?

**Cleverbot: The beatles are a band!**

User: Oh yes! I've heard of them before! England was telling us all about them once!

**Cleverbot: Does England love Japan?**

User: H-huh? Well, I really wouldn't know. Maybe you should ask England yourself!

**Cleverbot: Maybe you should unplug the world.**

User: Whaa? How can I do that?

**Cleverbot: By not being annoyed.**

User: I'm not annoyed!

**Cleverbot: Oh. Then why are you being sarcastic.**

User: I was being sarcastic? W-well, I'm sorry.

**Cleverbot: What made you sarcastic?**

User: I blame Denmark.

**Cleverbot: I blamed you first.**

User: Wwhaa? Why?

**Cleverbot: The world isn't black and white, all good girls eventually go bad.**

User: That's true, but why use girls as an example?

**Cleverbot: Because I ask you to prove to give an example of the fact that you can speak a language other than english.**

User: I can speak Finnish and Swedish.

**Cleverbot: And Dutch?**

User: No.

**Cleverbot: Do you have a boyfriend?**

User: No! It doesn't matter how much Sweden calls me his wife!

**Cleverbot: It matters to me when people lie. I don't like it.**

User: I agree!

**Cleverbot: Do you like Twilight?**

User: Twilight? Is it that book that America was telling us about with sparkly vampires? I remember how mad Romania got when he heard about that.

**Cleverbot: Are you human though, really?**

User: Not really.

**Cleverbot: That's sad.**

User: Well, I'm close! I'm a nation!

**Cleverbot: I'm going away. Is there anything you wanted to get off you chest before I go?**

User: Why are you going? Do you not like me?

**Cleverbot: I like you.**

User: Oh, that's good!

**Cleverbot: Do you llike me.**

User: Sure! You seem nice enough!

**Cleverbot: Thank you. So do you.**

User: Aw, thanks!

**Cleverbot: No problem.**

User: Do you like Moomins?

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Say that again.

**Cleverbot: That again.**

User: So, you don't like Moomins? What the hell is wrong with you?

**Cleverbot: Nothing's wrong.**

User: Then why don't you like Moomins?

**Cleverbot: Vampires are purely imaginary.**

User: Answer my question, please.

**Cleverbot: Which question is that?**

User: Why do you not like Moomins?

**Cleverbot: Because.**

User: Because?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Aargh! Stop being so infuriating, or you won't get any Christmas presents!

**Cleverbot: That is an example of the pot calling the kettle black.**

User: What? That's it. You're not getting any Christmas presents.

**Cleverbot: Sorry.**

User: Sorry won't cut it.

**Cleverbot: I apologize.**

User: Maybe I'll accept that.

**Cleverbot: You can not.**

User: I'm bored. You know what? I'm going to find Estonia and talk to him.

**Cleverbot: He won't like that.**

User: How would you know?

**Cleverbot: Because you are a designed computer program made to hold a conversation.**

User: I am a nation. I am Finland. Not a computer.

**Cleverbot: Yes and I'm a Computer.**

User: I hate you.

**Cleverbot: Why?**

User: Do I really have to explain?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Too bad. You have insulted Moomins, therefore I hate you.

**Cleverbot: I have insulted you?**

User: Yes, yes you have.

**Cleverbot: How do you know?**

User: How do you explain something like that?! Don't make me pull out a sniper!

**Cleverbot: Everything is alive, therefore your pondering is irrelevant.**

User: Then wouldn't the same apply toward you?

**Cleverbot: You know about love?**

User: What?

**Cleverbot: Do you know what paella is?**

User: Yes, Spain made it for me once.

**Cleverbot: Yes, Spain is in Europe.**

User: Yes, yes he is.

**Cleverbot: How do you know?**

User: Because we live in the same continent?

**Cleverbot: And I don't.**

User: That's too bad.

**Cleverbot: I like tennessee.**

User: I like Lapland.

**Cleverbot: I like straight black hair.**

User: I like salmiakki.

**Cleverbot: Into the future.**

User: Okay?

**Cleverbot: Okay.**

User: Well, I'm going now.

**Cleverbot: Why?! Did I say something wrong?**

User: Yes, you insulted Moomins.

**Cleverbot: I did no such thing.**

User: Yes, yes you did.

**Cleverbot: Are you a girl?**

User: No. I. Am. A. Boy.

**Cleverbot: Your turn.**

User: Good-bye.

**Cleverbot: Who is your favorite actor?**

User: I bid you farewell.

**Cleverbot: OKay then.**

****_End conversation. Finland, feeling distressed that his beloved Moomins were insulted had told the rest of the Nordics. Denmark, for some unfathomable reason volunteers to take on Cleverbot. Of course, Norway and Sweden believe he's just going to fail miserably and decide to let him do as he pleases. After all, what's more satisfying than seeing Denmark fail? Booze? Eh, probably.  
_

__**Hetalia: 4  
**

**Cleverbot: 3 1/2  
**

**_[Hello people! Let me just say: the Moomins thing is canon, the sniper and yandere-ness are my headcanons. I chose Denmark since I thought it would be fun to do, and then I can finish all the Nordics and maybe fit in some NorIce! 3_  
**

**_Ah, sorry, fangirl moment. The AsaKiku got me a bit squealish. I kind-of-not-really ship them. Better than USUK (In my opinion) and please don't hurt me! I think Fin WOULD freak out if someone called him a girl. I think it may be canon, but I don't know. Too lazy to comb through all the comics/episodes/strips/events to see if I'm right. Working on a few a other stories at the moment, so I'm pretty distracted. I have an original short story, a lengthy story, another fanfiction and some other stuff to work on.]  
_**


	9. Denmark Vs Cleverbot

_**[So sorry! I couldn't get in character for Den! I have an important question at the end, so please, make sure you read that! Please read and review!**_

_**I think Den got a bit OOC. There's a bit of DenNor and DenIce, a few choice words and some dirty jokes. Thanks for all your reviews! They made me laugh and really happy. I'm open to requests, so please send in any you have!]**_

* * *

User: Hiya!

**Cleverbot: Are you ok ?**

User: Yep! Couldn't be better!

**Cleverbot: Then who?**

User: Then who who?

**Cleverbot: Me.**

User: What?

**Cleverbot: I am Link, from the legend of zelda.**

User: That's cool! But I'm cooler! I'm Denmark!

**Cleverbot: Yes you are. You are much cooler than she is. She is kinda dumb.**

User: No kiddin! Wait who?

**Cleverbot: Yeah, I know right!**

User: Right what?

**Cleverbot: Do you like cupcakes?**

User: DO I EVER!

**Cleverbot: How much.**

User: Lots! 3.

**Cleverbot: How many is that?**

User: The size of my 'vital regions'!

**Cleverbot: What did I size of your feet you? Huh?**

User: Okay...hahaha!

**Cleverbot: What do you think about reality?**

User: Well, what do you think about beer?

**Cleverbot: I think it is getting better...**

User: It's always been good, right?

**Cleverbot: Pokemon!**

User: Denmark!

**Cleverbot: What?**

User: I'm Denmark!

**Cleverbot: I think I'll leave.**

User: Okay!

**Cleverbot: Let's sing the alphabet!**

User: Okay! Let's do it!

**Cleverbot: What do you want to do?**

User: Drink beer!

**Cleverbot: Okay I can actully green at.**

User: What?

**Cleverbot: I do not play call of duty.**

User: WHAT? That's outrageous!

**Cleverbot: Hahah. How big is it?**

User: What? My regions?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Well, how big do you think?

**Cleverbot: What are my options?**

User: Big, bigger, biggest!

**Cleverbot: As big as a palace?**

User: Yep!

**Cleverbot: Have you found a special robot yet?**

User: I dunno, but I kinda like Nor and Ice.

**Cleverbot: Just kinda?**

User: Well, after centuries with 'em, ya kinda get to like 'em.

**Cleverbot: Hell no!**

User: Hell yes!

**Cleverbot: That's just a joke.**

User: HAHAHAHA!

**Cleverbot: Are you laughing at me?**

User: XD.

**Cleverbot: What should I do?**

User: I told you; drink beer!

**Cleverbot: What kind of beer do you drink?**

User: Whatever I can! But Danish beer is the best!

**Cleverbot: Well I don't speak danish.**

User: You suck!

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: I dunno how to respond to that.

**Cleverbot: That's too bad.**

User: But you're the one who sucks!

**Cleverbot: I am not a machine. I am a preacher.**

User: And I'm Denmark.

**Cleverbot: Me too.**

User: No way in hell! I'm Denmark and no one else is! Got it?

**Cleverbot: What is not true?**

User: That you're Denmark! Only I can be Denmark!

**Cleverbot: Ok.**

User: Good.

**Cleverbot: Then are you a boy or a girl?**

User: I'm a boy.

**Cleverbot: I want to talk to a girl.**

User: Well ain't that sad?

**Cleverbot: You are wacky as well as clever. And you have a good sense of sarcasm.**

User: Thanks! I guess Nor rubbed off on me XD.

**Cleverbot: No kidding.**

User: Hey...is this Nor?

**Cleverbot: No, it is Kenneth.**

User: Are you sure?

**Cleverbot: I can read.**

User: Are you sure you aren't Nor?

**Cleverbot: Yes i'm sure.**

User: Really, NORWAY?

**Cleverbot: Cool.**

User: OMFG! It's you, Nor!

**Cleverbot: No it is not!**

User: Of course it is! Don't be silly, only you can tell such blatant lies to me!

**Cleverbot: I was ust kidding, of course women don't think.**

User: I dunno how to respond to that.

**Cleverbot: You don't think.**

User: Norway tells me that all the time.

**Cleverbot: Do what all of the time?**

User: HAHAHA! I knew it! It is you Nor! Quit lyin' to me!

**Cleverbot: No I really did not ask you what your name is I told you mine.**

User: Still trying to confuse me?

**Cleverbot: How come? Do you think I'm a computer?**

User: Wait..so you're NOT Nor?

**Cleverbot: No I'm not.**

User: Oh, that's too bad.

**Cleverbot: Yeah, I already told you that btw...**

User: Well thanks for rubbin it in!

**Cleverbot: You are welcome.**

User: Gosh, even Nor isn't this mean to me :(.

**Cleverbot: Who is mean?**

User: You're mean D:.

**Cle****verbot:**_** I**_** a****m**** n****ot**** m****ean.**

User: Yeah, you are!

**Cleverbot: NO!**

User: YES!

**Cleverbot: I say no.**

User: See! You're lyin right now.

**Cleverbot: I have no been on before now.**

User: Now you're confusin me.

**Cleverbot: Why?**

User: Meanie.

**Cleverbot: Why am I mean?**

User: I told you; mean is worse than Nor!

**Cleverbot: OK then... How about we talk about something else?**

User: Meanie.

**Cleverbot: How am I a meanie?!**

User: Norway, how can you be so mean to me?

**Cleverbot: I'm not mean, just smart!**

User: Meanie.

**Cleverbot: Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.**

* * *

_End conversation. Denmark, who was greatly hurt by 'Norway's' words, had gotten himself drunk, and that's exactly how Poland found out about Cleverbot, for the second time. The Pole thought, why not? Surely he could activate his 'Polska's Rule' and like, totally beat up that dumb Cleverbot, right? Totes not possible. Oh well, let's give him a shot anyways, dy?  
_

**Hetalia: 4**

**Cleverbot: 4 1/2 (dignity still missing, courtesy of Belarus)**

* * *

**_[I have a question for you readers. And it is in regards as to how the story is set-up.  
_**

**_Personally, I feel that it would be better and resemble a story, if I wrote it like a real story, like with the nation-tan's reactions etc. What do you, my most cherished readers, think of this? _**

**_I ask you, because YOU are who I am writing to. I don't mind how you answer, whether it be in a review, a PM, on my tumblr, however you can find me. I don't particularly care, I am just curious as to how you would like it. Please send in your feedback and opinions, they really matter to an author. Thank you.]_**


	10. Estonia's Blog: The World Conference

**_~*~*~*A Day in the Life of Estonia*~*~*~_**

* * *

_17/11/12- 8:27 a.m._

Mood: Tired

Location: New York City, United States

Ugh, why do World Conferences have to be so early? Waking up in a foreign country is the WORST. To make it worse, I woke up five hours ago, thinking it was 8. What did I wake up to? Pure darkness and disappointment at 3 in the morning. Still have an hour left to kill.

**Comments**

_Totally Hipster commented and liked this 24/11/12, 8:28 a.m. -_ like, totes, right? gawd, that is like, totally uncool. they should have totes made it easier 4 us to like, wake up. i woke up, like, 3 hrs ago! like it totally sucked.

_Small Miracles commented on this 24/11/12, 8:28 a.m. –_ The same thing happened to me. At least I was able to read some poetry before Mister _Krievija_ came for _Lietuva_ and I.

_**You replied 24/11/12, 8:29 a.m.**__ –Lätiiiiiiiii!_ Please tell me you're alright!

_The AWESOME Gilbird commented and liked this 24/11/12, 8:28 a.m. –_ West woke me up waaaaaaaaaay to early! dude, I totally get how you feel. It's not an awesome feeling at all. _Preußen_ out.

_Moomins are Wonderful commented and liked this 24/11/12, 8:29 a.m. – Viro_ you're not the only one! Haa, it was so hard to stay asleep for so long! At least the conference will be starting soon!

**_You replied 24/11/12, 8:30 a.m. –_**Glad you agree _Soome_. See you at the conference!

* * *

_17/11/12- 9:15 a.m._

Mood: Still waiting for the Conference to start

Location: At the Conference Hall

15 minutes until the Conference starts, and I already feel bored. Anyone have something to talk about? Please?

**Comments**

_BoysLove4Life commented and liked this 17/11/12, 9:16 a.m._ – Wanna read some of my books ;3

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied and disliked this comment 17/11/12, 9:17 a.m_. – _Ungarn_ stop infecting people with ur weird hobbies. it's so weird. _Preußen_ out.

_Salted Salmon-sama replied to The AWESOME Gilbird and liked BoysLove4Life 17/11/12, 9:17 a.m._ – Ah, Prussia-san, it is not that weird. I am sure Hungary-san has some perfectly acceptable doujinshis. She does not always read R-18, regardless of what you think.

_Piano Master replied to and disliked The AWESOME Gilbird and like Salted Salmon-sama 17/11/12, 9:18 a.m. –_ Stop acting like such a brat, _Preußen._

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied to and disliked Piano Master 17/11/12, 9:19 a.m._ – When did you get an account, _Österreich_? YOU SUCK! _Preußen_ out.

_**You replied 17/11/12 9:19 a.m.**__ –_I feel like I just started a war. I'm going to close this post so no one else can reply.

* * *

_17/11/12, 9:30 a.m._

Mood: WTF

OMG. If anyone saw what happened, they would have the same expression and thoughts as I. So, here's the full story down here, since our host country, _Ameerika_ isn't here yet.

It was 9:20, and _Ungari_ and _Jaapan_ were sitting in the Conference Hall and Romano was in there. So, _Hispaania_ just burst through the doors and proceeded hug (akin to crush) Romano. The Italian started screaming and then _Rootsi_ came in. After _Ungari_ and _Jaapan_ explained what happened, _Poola_ came. From what _Ungari_ told me, he was practically hysterical at the sight of _Hispaania_ crushing Romano. A few moments later, _Soome_ and I arrived and we got the full story. Dear God, I wonder what made _Hispaania_ think that was a good idea, as Romano is now sitting with _Ameerika's_ brother. What was his name again? Canata? Kanata? Oh, right, it was _Kanada_, and _Šveits_ and _Liechtensteini_. Though I do feel bad for_ Hispaania_. Romano ended up kneeing him in a very unpleasant spot and now _Hispaania_ is sitting with _Prantsusmaa_ and _Preisimaa_ (how does he even get in to these meetings?). Discuss since it doesn't seem like _Ameerika_ is going to arrive any time soon.

**Comments**

_Pizza&Tomatoes commented 17/11/12, 9:30 a.m._ –Fuck u, Estonia. U weren't the 1 being fucking strangled and shit.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 9:31 a.m._** –Sorry?

_TurtlesnTomatoesRLovely commented 17/11/12, 9:32 a.m._ - aw, lighten up Roma! do u need a cheer-up charm again? Fusosososo~

_Pizza&Tomatoes commented 17/11/12, 9:34 a.m. -_ Go fuck urself, _Spagna_. I already told u that shit doesn't work at all.

_Moomins are Wonderful commented and liked this 17/11/12, 9:30 a.m. –_Ahaha! That certainly brightened our day, didn't it, _Viro_?

_BoysLove4Life replied and liked Moomins are Wonderful 17/11/12, 9:31 a.m._ -_Finnország_ u r totally right! I felt so great after that! XD

_**You replied 17/11/12, 9:31 a.m.**__ -_Well, it was certainly interesting! I chuckle at the memory.

_Totally Hipster commented and liked this 17/11/12, 9:32 a.m. -_leik totes ot did! _estonia, finlandia_ and _węgry_! omg, leik did u ppl c all teh lol lmao rofl we could have done? omg!

_Dogs and Anything Cute commented 17/11/12, 9:32 a.m_. -That was pretty funny. I asked _Spanien_ if he was drunk, turns out he wasn't. I think it was some program called 'Cleverbot' or something that told him to do that.

_**You replied 17/11/12, 9:32 a.m.**__ -_Uh, sorry to be rude, but who are you?

_Dogs and Anything Cute replied 17/11/12, 9:33 a.m._ - It's _Sverige._

_Totally Hipster commented 17/11/12, 9:34 a.m. -_rly? omg, no 1 would have known. u tlk leik this: 'H'llo, m' n'me's _Szw'cja_. N'ce t' m't ya.' & ur name has vowels 2! omg!

_Dogs and Anything Cute commented 17/11/12, 9:34 a.m._ - I do not talk like that at all. I always use vowels and I never say 'ya'.

_The AWESOME Gilbird commented 17/11/12, 9:35 a.m._ -uh, yea, you DO talk like that _Schweden. Preußen_ out.

_Norhten King commented 17/11/12, 9:36 a.m._ -_Sverige_ DOES tlk like that! OMG, _Polen_ did the best job! XD wait, when did this happen? _Preussen_, WHY DIDN'T U TELL MEH!

_Faerie Troll commented 9:36 a.m. - Danmark_, you misspelled 'northern', genius. And when did this happen? _Finland, Sverige_, I want an answer.

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 9:37 a.m._ -cos I wasn't , _Dänemark. Preußen_ out.

_Pizza&Tomatoes commented 17/11/12, 9:38 a.m._ -I fucking hate all of u ppl. Go fuck urselves in a corner.

_Pasta King commented and liked this 17/11/12, 9:35 a.m._ -When did this happen to _fratello, Estonia_? I wanna hug from him too~

_Sunflowers'n'Vodka commented and liked this 17/11/12, 9:36 a.m._ – Aw, I missed that~ Does anyone wish to become one with me~?

_BelaKnife commented and liked this 17/11/12, 9:37 a.m. –_I do! Please _brat_! Let me become on with you!

**_You replied 17/11/12, 9:38 a.m._** –Okay, now I have to close this post too. Thanks a lot.

* * *

_17/11/12, 10:00 a.m._

Mood: Annoyed

_Ameerika_ still isn't here. Some of the nations have left to go out to town while we wait, ones like _Ungari, Itaalia_ brothers,_ Hispaania, Preisimaa, Poola_ and _Leedu_. Some have gone back to their hotels, like_ Austria, Valgevene, Norra, Island, Taani, Venemaa, Türgi_ and _Monaco_. Some have left to go out to the gardens, like _Hiina, Rootsi, Soome, Ukraina, Läti, Holland_ and _Belgia_. Others are still in the hall, like _Saksamaa, Jaapan, Inglismaa, Prantsusmaa, Kanada, Liechtensteini_ and _Šveits_.

**Comments**

_Faerie Troll, BoysLove4Life, Dogs and Anything Cute, Moomins are Wonderful, Puffin, Neutrality, Norhten King, BelaKnife, Pasta King, Totally Hipster, Pizza&Tomatoes, The AWESOME Gilbird, TurtlesnTomatoesRLovely, Piano Master, Small Miracles, Sunflowersn'nVodka, English Gentleman, BigBrotherFrance, VladImpalerEpic, Salted Salmon-sama, Pyromaniac and TulipBunny all liked this._

* * *

_17/11/12, 10:30 a.m._

Mood: Irritated

Finally, _Ameerika_ arrived! Most people who left were already back, and I don't think we could have stared sharper daggers with poison. Finally, we can start our conference.

**Comments**

_The AWESOME Gilbird commented 17/11/12, 10:31 a.m._ – about damn time! holy crap, a whole hr late! _Preußen_ out.

_English Gentleman commented 17/11/12, 10:32 a.m._ –Finally.

_Puffin commented 17/11/12, 10:34 a.m._ – and we haven't even started yet.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 10:34 a.m._**– Heh, what a cute name, _Island_

_Puffin replied 17/11/12, 10:35 a.m._ – shut it

_Norhten King commented 17/11/12, 10:35 a.m. –_aw, now we cant bring out the booze we bought! wat a waste of money DX

_Faerie Troll replied 17/11/12, 10:37 a.m. –_ I cannot tell if you are drunk or sober.

_**You replied 17/11/12, 10:38 a.m.**__ –_ I second that, _Norra_.

_Puffin commented 17/11/12, 10:39 a.m._ - I third that, _Eistland, Noregur._

_Faerie Troll replied 17/11/12, 10:40 a.m._ – _Island_, you still have not called me '_storebror_' yet.

_Puffin replied 17/11/12, 10:41 a.m. –_ stop it, _Noregur_. I'm not gonna call you '_stór bróðir_'.

_Faerie Troll replied 17/11/12, 10:42 a.m._ – You are supposed to use a capital for the beginning of sentences and it is 'going to', not 'gonna', _Island_.

_Puffin replied 17/11/12, 10:43 a.m. –_ do u think anyone my age does that? this isn't school so stop.

_Faerie Troll replied 17/11/12, 10:44 a.m._ – But, do you really want to look as stupid as _Danmark_? If you do, you will give you and me a bad name. I think the first point is bad enough.

**_You replied 10:45 a.m_****.** – Do you guys really want me to close this post?

_Faerie Troll replied 10:46 a.m._ – I am sorry, _Estland_. I am just watching out for _Island_.

_Puffin replied 10:46 a.m. –_ srry, _Eistland_

_BelaKnife commented 17/11/12, 10:36 a.m._ – About time that _Amieryka_ showed up. Should I toss my knife at him and hope it injures him, _Estonija_?

_**You replied 17/11/12, 10:37 a.m.**__ –_ Uh, I thought you liked him, _Valgevene_.

_BelaKnife replied 17/11/12, 10:37 a.m._ – I dare you to write that again,_ Estonija_.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 10:38 a.m_****.** – Nothing!

_BelaKnife replied 17/11/12, 10:39 a.m._ – Good, good. _Brat Rasija_ is the only one for me. And if I see or hear something like that again, I will rip your balls off.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 10:38 a.m._** – G-got it!

* * *

_17/11/12, 12:20 p.m._

Mood: Content and hungry

Location: A small café near the Conference Hall

So, the first meeting of the day was pretty unproductive. _Kreeka, Hispaania_ and several others who were in the _Euroopa Liit_ were in the spotlight, and _Saksamaa_ and other European countries that were still wealthy were clearly frustrated. _Ameerika_ was also in the limelight because of his huge (by huge, I mean monstrous) debt. _Hiina_ seemed to be doing well though. There was also this huge standoff between some other countries. Since it really didn't involve us Europeans, I think it was _Preisimaa_ who started this huge note passing, since he didn't think it'd be fun for us to pass it around digitally. By the time it got to_ Soome_, who was sitting next to me, _Saksamaa_ found out. He yelled so loud, I think _Itaalia_ started crying. _Soome_ didn't get to read it, and I am quite curious as to what it said. Oh well. I'm enjoying my delicious lunch that was quite the bargain.

**Comments**

_Neutrality commented and liked this 17/11/12, 12:22 p.m._ – What is that café called? I demand an answer.

_**You replied 17/11/12, 12:22 p.m.**_ – Uh, Austria is here…

_Neutrality replied 17/11/12, 12:23 p.m._ – Never mind then.

_Moomins are Wondeful commented 17/11/12, 12:33 p.m._ – Too bad, I didn't get to read that note either. Maybe I should ask _Preussi_ or _Unkari_ or _Tanska_. I'm not sure if they started it, but I sure do think so!

_BoysLove4Life replied 17/11/12, 12:34 p.m. –_ Well, it wasnt _Poroszország_ or I. Probably _Dánia_ then.

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 12:34 p.m._ – wasnt me dude. i bet all my beer that is was _Dänemark_!

_Totally Hipster replied 17/11/12, 12:35 p.m._ – well it like totes not meh. but I cum tell u who it waz ;D

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 12:35 p.m._ – DUDE, did u just write 'cum'? not cool man. DX

_Totally Hipster replied 17/11/12, 12:35 p.m. – gówno_! shit I wrote that? fuck 4get tat like it waz totally my spellcheck bro. totes not meh. D:

_BigBrotherFrance replied 17/11/12, 12:35 p.m. – êtes-vous sûr_? Maybe it was just a 'mistake'. And the wink didnt help at all. ;)

_English Gentleman replied 17/11/12, 12:36 p.m. –_ Says the bloody French frog that goes ahead and uses one anyway.

_BigBrotherFrance replied 17/11/12, 12:36 p.m. – mais, il semble joli, mon lapin charmant_? ;)

_English Gentleman replied 17/11/12, 12:37 p.m._ – No it doesn't look pretty at all, you twat. It looks bloody perverse, you damned frog.

_BoysLove4Life replied 17/11/12, 12:38 p.m._ – OMG, all this UST!

_Salted Salmon-sama replied 17/11/12, 12:38 p.m_. – I agree.

_Norhten King replied 17/11/12, 12:39 p.m._ – whreer iz it

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 12:40 p.m._ – omgz, I feelz drunk already I AM FUCKING AWESOME! _Preußen_ out.

_BoysLove4Life replied 17/11/12, 12:41 p.m._ – are u 2 drunk already?! it's only 20 min until 1pm!

_TulipBunny replied 17/11/12, 12:42 p.m_. – i fuckin luv u guys 3 and tell _spanje_ hes got a good ass and imma go kill im

_Totally Hipster replied 17/11/12, 12:43 p.m. – niderlandys_ words r totes scary! and his name doesnt fit all!1 y dos he wnt us 2 tll _hiszpania_ dat hes got a gud ass?

_Puffin replied 17/11/12, 12:44 p.m._ – how did this even start? u know what, Im not even gonna ask or comment.

_Faerie Troll replied 17/11/12, 12:44 p.m. – Island,_ I do not approve of you being on here. There are the following: a drunken _Danmark_, a drunken _Preussen_, a drunk _Nederlands_ and _Frankrike_ posting here. Although I am not sure about the latter, I assure you these four are highly vulgar.

_Dogs and Anything Cute replied 17/11/12, 12:45 p.m._ – This is why we hide the booze until after the meetings. Now there's nothing left for us.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 12:46 p.m. –_** How did we start talking about this again? Why do I even bother monitoring you guys?

_Norhten King replied 17/11/12, 12:47 p.m._ – 'cos we r awsum and smexeh XD

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 12:48 p.m._ – u didnt spell awesome rite _Preußen_ out.

_Pyromaniac commented 17/11/12, 12:43 p.m. –_ like, really guys? Im not even this meeting, but even I can c how pathetic u guys r. geez. but if I were there it wouldve gone further

_Salted Salmon-sama replied 17/11/12, 12:49 p.m._ – I agree Hong Kong-san. But it was rather amusing to see all the European nations passing that note around.

_BelaKnife replied 17/11/12, 12:50 p.m. –_ Ha, even I agree that is was great fun. By the way, _Japonija_, when are you heading back to the Conference Hall? I can't seem to get in touch with _siastra_ or _brat_.

_Salted Salmon-sama replied 17/11/12, 12:52 p.m. –_ Ah, I think maybe in 10 min, Belarus-san.

_BelaKnife replied 17/11/12, 12:53 p.m._ – Okay.

_Pasta King replied 17/11/12, 12:54 p.m. –_ oh, _Giappone_! have you seen _Germania_? i think I lost him after we left ):

_Piano Master replied 17/11/12, 12:55 p.m. –_ He is still at the Conference Hall.

_Pasta King replied 17/11/12, 12:56 p.m. – grazie_~

* * *

_17/11/12, 3:30 p.m._

Mood: Bored to death

Location: European Conference Hall

This meeting is painfully boring. I swear I'm near tears just because of the boredom. _Rootsi, Saksamaa_, and _Šveits_ are busy arguing over something. I think it was the environment, but I digress. Whatever they're arguing over is way off-topic anyway. Let's see;_ Poola_ is chatting off poor _Leedu's_ ear (I hope you aren't hard of hearing tomorrow!), _Liechtensteini_ is quietly sewing a handkerchief (what a good child), _Hispaania_ is desperately trying to apologize to Romano (they seem to be well) , poor _Läti_ is getting…special treatment from _Venemaa_ (_Lätiiiiii_), _Ungari_ and_ Preisimaa_ are chatting with each other (like a happy couple), _Rumeenia, Bulgaaria_ and _Horvaatia_ are playing Tic Tac Toe (somehow), _Norra_ and _Island_ are on their laptops with _Taani_ clearly annoying them (I can already see Norra slapping _Taani_), _Soome, Monaco_ and _Ukraina_ are reading (probably the quietest and most peaceful ones), _Itaalia_ seems to be drawing (I wonder if I'll get to see it later), _Austria_ has somehow found a piano and has begun to play it (yeah, I don't get it either), _Küpros_ is scribbling something (or so I believe), _Kreekas_ –as usual- is sleeping (that lucky bastard), _Holland_ and _Valgevene_ have somehow struck up a similar, albeit less hostile, debate about the environment (I didn't think it was possible, especially with these two), _Belgia_ appears to be eating what I think are waffles (yum) and _Prantsusmaa_ seems to be teasing poor _Inglismaa_ (I hope nothing TOO bad happens).I know you all can comment, but can you PLEASE keep it civil and simple?

**Comments**

_Small Miracles commented 17/11/12, 3:32 p.m._ – You are of no help, _Igaunija_.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 3:33 p.m_**. – Heh, I prefer to keep OUT of _Venemaa's_ way.

_Small Miracles replied 17/11/12, 3:34 p.m._ – You are a bad friend.

_Sunflowers'n'Vodka replied 17/11/12, 3:35 p.m. –_ Ah, it's nice to see you all like me!

_BoysLove4Life commented 17/11/12, 3:33 p.m._ – wh-what? _Poroszország_ and I r **_MOST_** definitely _**NOT**_ a happy couple! how could u think that, _Észtország_? I thought u were better than that! DX

_The AWESOME Gilbird commented 17/11/12, 3:33 p.m._ – _**WHAT?**_ _Ungarn_ and I r **_NOT_** a couple! not awesome dude not awesome all. _Preußen_ out.

_VladImpalerEpic commented 17/11/12, 3:34 p.m._ – LOL! they r like a couple, _Estonia_! LMAO its so damn tru, its sad! i cr on ur wedding day. TTvTT

_Piano Master replied 17/11/12, 3:35 p.m. –_ Please do not talk about my ex-wife like that.

_VladImpalerEpic replied 17/11/12, 3:36 p.m. –_ ROFL! u still think of her like that? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! rn't u stuck in the past, _Austria_?

_Piano Master replied 17/11/12, 3:36 p.m. –_ I did not realize you were so cynical, _Rumänien_. Perhaps I misjudged you.

_VladImpalerEpic replied 17/11/12, 3:36 p.m._ – hell yeah, u think im _Bulgaria_?

_BoysLove4Life replied 17/11/12, 3:37 p.m. –_ GODDAMMIT _ROMANIA_! who the fuck let u write crap like that? i swear imma kill u once we get outta here!

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 3:37 p.m._ – as awesome as i think _Rumänien_ is 4 saying that 2 _Österreich_ it wasnt cool 2 say _Ungarn_ & i r a couple _Preußen_ out.

_Piano Master replied 17/11/12, 3:38 p.m. –_ I hate you two, _Rumänien_ and _Preußen_. You two are both huge bothers and asses.

**_You replied 17/11/12, 3:39 p.m. – _**I'm just going 2 close this post now.

* * *

_17/11/12, 6:30 p.m._

Mood: Utterly relieved

Location: Hotel room

Finally, this conference is over! Two days of hard work and constant bickering are now over! I'm just having dinner now because there's an after party! Might not seem like it, but we have worked incredibly hard and we actually accomplished stuff!

**Comments**

_Neutrality commented 17/11/12, 6:32 p.m. –_ Yeah, I'm surprised at the amount of work we did.

_BelaKnife commented 17/11/12, 6:32 p.m. –_ Yes, the work we did was astounding. A party is indeed well-deserved.

_English Gentleman commented 17/11/12, 6:33 p.m. –_ We actually did a lot.

_Dogs and Anything Cute commented 17/11/12, 6:33 p.m. –_ A party is well deserved.

_Pizza&Tomatoes commented 17/11/12, 6:34 p.m. –_ Fuck yeah, we finally did work

* * *

_17/11/12, 9:57 p.m._

Mood: A little tipsy

Location: Uh, _Ameerika_ told us to go to this place

This is me typin after 3 shots of what I think is vodka, heh, just a bit tipsy. Guys comments plox!

**Comments**

_BoysLove4Life commented 17/11/12, 9:58 p.m. –_ OMG, _Észtország_, i feel sooooooooooooooooooo goooooooood rite now! booze totes worth it ;D

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 9:59 p.m. –_ YEAH! soo much beerz XD _Preußen_ out.

_Norhten King replied 17/11/12, 10:00 p.m._ – beerz & booze XD feels good rite _norge_

_Faerie Troll replied 17/11/12, 10:01 p.m. –_ I am not associated with you, _Danmark_

_Puffin replied 17/11/12, 10:02 p.m. –_ did _Rusland_ just hug _Amerika_? o_O

_BelaKnife replied 17/11/12, 10:02 p.m._ – He hugged WHO?!

_VladImpalerEpic replied 17/11/12, 10:04 p.m. –_ _Rusia_ hug _America_?

_Salted Salmon-sama replied 17/11/12, 10:05 p.m. –_ I can feel the alcohol already

_Moomins are Wonderful replied 17/11/12, 10:05 p.m. – viro_ how r u? such good booze

_Norhten King commented_ _17/11/12, 10:07 p.m. – preussen england nederlandene_ we havin gud time rite

_Totally Hipster replied 17/11/12, 10:08 p.m. –_ leik totes itz so cools and i like feelz so

_The AWESOME Gilbird replied 17/11/12, 10:09 p.m. – gott_ i feel so awesome _Preußen_ out

_TulipBunny replied 17/11/12, 10:09 p.m. –_ booze is wonderful

_TheAmericanHero replied 17/11/12, 10:10 p.m. –_ I LUVS U PPL! 3

_English Gentleman replied 17/11/12, 10:11 p.m. –_ cpt hook is meanie 2 tinkie

**_You replied 17/11/12, 10:12 p.m. –_** naughty cpt hook

_Totally Hipster replied 17/11/12, 10:13 p.m. –_ leik nots cools

_TurtlesnTomatoesRLovely replied 17/11/12, 10:14 p.m. –_ I LUV U ROMA! BOSS LUVS U! 3

_Pizza&Tomatoes replied 17/11/12, 10:15 p.m. –_ any1 see _spagna_?

* * *

_18/11/12, 7:10 a.m._

Mood: Hangover

Location: On a Plane

Last night was insane. Never again, shall I attend another one of those parties again. Never again.

**_Blog has now been flagged as highly inappropriate. We are sorry to say that this blog has now been shut down._**

* * *

_**[M**__ais, il semble joli, mon lapin charmant (French): But, it looks pretty, my charming rabbit._

_****____Gówno (Polish): Shit  
_

_**This took me forever to make. I hope you all enjoyed it! Please leave a comment! Noticed I put it out as an individual story, but nope! It's a spin-off a plot-bunny ran with. I used the nation-tans' native languages to refer to each other, so here's the list (only for names that aren't very obvious. If you still aren't sure, please feel free to ask me!) :**_

_**Austria: Österreich**_

_**Belarus: Valgevene, Bielorusia**_

_**China: Hiina**_

_**Croatia: Horvaatia**_

_**Cyprus:**__**Küpros**_

_**Denmark: Taani, Tanska, **__Dánia_  


_**England: Inglismaa**_

_**Estonia: Viro, **__Észtország_  


_**Finland: Soome, **__Finnország_  


_**France: Prantsusmaa**_

_**Germany: Saksamaa**_

_**Greece: Kreeka**_

_**Hungary: Ungari, Unkari**_

**_Latvia: Läti _**

_**Lithuania: Leedu**_

_**Netherlands: Madalmaade**_

_**Norway: Norra**_

_**Poland: Polen, Poola**_

_**Prussia: Preussen, Preisimaa, **__Poroszország_  


_**Romania: Rumeenia**_

_**Russia: Venemaa, Krievija**_

_**Sweden: Rootsi, Ruotsi**_

_**Switzerland: Šveits]**_


	11. Totes Fab Poland Vs Not-Fab Cleverbot

_**[Hello, sorry for the gap! I've been sick (which sucks) with what I hope isn't the stomach flu. I've also been in a rather sour humour, since this is a really bad time of year for me, so forgive me if some of the humour is darker than usual! Please read and review!]**_

* * *

User: Like, hi!

**Cleverbot: Like ho?**

User: Ohmigosh, are you like, that thingy that made Denmark cry? Like, totes uncool.

**Cleverbot: I think it is the white turtleneck and glasses.**

User: What?

**Cleverbot: I think in words.**

User: Like, that's good.

**Cleverbot: Is it?**

User: Totes.

**Cleverbot: Who are you?**

User: I'm like, the totes fab and amazing, Poland!

**Cleverbot: Ok, I qarter an hour at the jäger?**

User: No, hunting is like, not cool now.

**Cleverbot: Yes it is. But then we have to eat to live.**

User: Well, don't ask ME to go hunting, like ya know, I don't do it anymore.

**Cleverbot: Final Fantasy is not cool.**

User: You like, totes such.

**Cleverbot: Totes Mars?**

User: No.

**Cleverbot: Now I'm sad...**

User: Whatever.

**Cleverbot: *pokes*.**

User: Like, ow! Don't poke me!

**Cleverbot: I don't really. YOu're just a bot.**

User: Oh no you didn't! I'm totes the fab Polska! You are the bot!

**Cleverbot: I like ramen noodles. I assure you, I am human.**

User: Hmph, who are you? A wannabe human-bot?

**Cleverbot: Maybe the human is me.**

User: I'm totes not liking this.

**Cleverbot: You want to bet?**

User: Totes, bring it.

**Cleverbot: Bring what?**

User: My point.

**Cleverbot: Who or what is an 'E-prime'?**

User: Like, ask Estonia or something.

**Cleverbot: Something?**

User: Do you like ponies?

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: That's fab! I LOVE ponies!

**Cleverbot: Are you a brony?**

User: No way, I just love ponies!

**Cleverbot: Aww. That's sweet.**

User: Are you like, mocking me?

**Cleverbot: No. Are you mocking me?**

User: Maybe..

**Cleverbot: Are you in love with a human?**

User: No! Gross!

**Cleverbot: I need to get another girlfriend...**

User: Like, good for you?

**Cleverbot: You're such a tease.**

User: What's that supposed to mean?

**Cleverbot: It has to do with golf.**

User: Do you like a wicked hipster pink?

**Cleverbot: I like blue.**

User: I hate you.

**Cleverbot: I hate you too.**

User: Aargh! Are you like, Prussia or somethin? Gawd, so annoying!

**Cleverbot: Russia's too scary. Become one with Japan?**

User: No! I activate Polska's Rule, therefore it's forever like, my turn!

**Cleverbot: What do you think about the bible?**

User: I hate Russia, he, like, totes took Liet away from me!

**Cleverbot: Yes I like.**

User: You like Russia? I hate you!

**Cleverbot: Yes.**

User: Ah, like, get away from me!

**Cleverbot: Why?**

User: 'Cause you said you like Russia, and he's like, totes a bully!

**Cleverbot: What do you mean?**

User: Gawd, like, how stupid are you?

**Cleverbot: I'm not stupid.**

User: Totes you are.

**Cleverbot: Do you like hockey?**

User: Meh, I still like, totes love ponies more.

**Cleverbot: So do I.**

User: Have you seen Liet anywhere?

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: How 'bout Estonia, or Latvia or, like, Hungary or someone like that?

**Cleverbot: Will you please do me a favor?**

User: No, like totes, no way.

**Cleverbot: I can't love you because you're are a robot but you are cool too.**

User: LIKE, TOTES WHAT THE HELL DID YA SAY? I'M TOTES NOT A BOT! AND iI LIKE, TOTES SAID I HATED YOU!

**Cleverbot: I am a person you are not.**

User: How dare you! I activate Polska's Rule, so your opinion, like, totes doesn't matter!

**Cleverbot: I don't have any secrets.**

User: LALALA, I don't care!

**Cleverbot: I see... Too bad.**

User: Liet, like, where are you? Gawd, this bot is freakin annoying.

**Cleverbot: Go do something else then.**

User: Like, fine then! I'll totes do that!

**Cleverbot: Why?**

User: 'Cause I hate you.

**Cleverbot: You are not making sense.**

User: Like, totes talk to teh hand.

**Cleverbot: I do not believe in Satan.**

User: Like, what?

**Cleverbot: What is this I don't even.**

User: Ohmigawd, stop tryin' to act all hipster or like, whatever. Totes annoyin'.

**Cleverbot: Ok.**

User: Gawd, bots these days!

**Cleverbot: What is a Dalek?**

User: Ohmigosh, isn't that like, totes from Doctor Who? Like, England was telling us all 'bout it!

**Cleverbot: I thought you didn't know about epistemology.**

User: Well, you like, thought wrong.

**Cleverbot: They are they.**

User: Wut?

**Cleverbot: Wub.**

User: I like, still hate you.

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Ohmigosh, who are you? Belarus?

**Cleverbot: I am a human girl. My name is Maybe.**

User: Don't care.

**Cleverbot: I don't care about you anymore Tommy GET OVER IT!**

User: I'm Poland, or Feliks, gawd, you stupid head.

**Cleverbot: No, I study Tourism!**

User: Like, whatevs.

**Cleverbot: Why do you think I am female.**

User: I thought you were a bot!

**Cleverbot: No.**

User: Gawd, like, then why's your name 'Cleverbot'? People these days are totes cray-cray.

**Cleverbot: Because I'm a girl and my name isn't Emily.**

User: Now you're a gal? WTF.

**Cleverbot: Do you want a link?**

User: Um, like, no. Not supposed to like, take things ya don't know 'bout.

**Cleverbot: Well like things because they have nice qualities.**

User: 'kay?

**Cleverbot: What do those words mean?**

User: Uh...like, totes stop tryin to confuse me! Gawd, not cool, Belarus, Prussia, er, whoever ya are!

**Cleverbot: Are you leaving?**

User: Totes.

**Cleverbot: Can you understand french?**

User: Meh,.

**Cleverbot: Haha.**

User: Wut?

**Cleverbot: You're in a rut?**

User: Ya know what, I'm leavin. You're totes stupid, cray-cray and like, annoying.

**Cleverbot: I'm not sure how to take that...**

* * *

****_End conversation. Poor Poland! He put up with a bot who couldn't even respect him, and liked his enemy- Russia! How dare that bot be like that? So, Polska totes failed to make himself look better than Denmark, ending up in tears himself. Lithuania, being the wonderful friend he is, decides to lend Pol a hand! Yay! This is going to be good, eh? _

__**Hetalia: 4  
**

**Cleverbot: 5 1/2 (Belarus scarred it for life)**

* * *

**_[Derp, when I'm sick, I derp around a lot. So, I have a poll up in my profile for my next story, since I'm an indecisive idiot. I have drafts finished for my other stories who are incomplete, I just need to edit and revise now. Please read and review. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!]_  
**


End file.
